What’s worse than an already paranoid, over reactive parent? A paranoid, over reactive parent during a pandemic.
We are in the middle of the coronavirus pandemic, and my son is a diabetic. It has been explained that diabetics are of great risk, and my fears are at an all time high. My days consist of bleaching the house and sanitizing any and all things that come from public places. What is this doing for my anxiety?! I haven’t slept well, I look at everyone as a potential threat, and I’m doing my best to control every movement in my home. I think of all the scenarios in which I could’ve missed something, or someone in my house gets sick, and what I would do. The short answer is,I don’t know, and that is terrifying . The one thing that a parent fears the most after losing a child, is to lose another. The fear that courses throughout a mom that cannot completely protect their child, is like no other fear known.
I have had many nights, after bedtime, thinking of how to minimize the risk and keep them all safe. I can do all that’s possible by my own means, but ultimately, I have no control. I’ve done all I can, and yet here I sit, still scared. I wonder if I would be as scared if I had not lost a child before. Would I have trusted my methods to work, and keep him safe. Would I be able to spend this time playing games and working on projects, had I not endured the unspeakable in the past. Moms with angel children live in a constant state of panic, and have lost the faith in themselves to protect those we love. It’s true that this is a threat, but there have been threats before and they will come again. Be gentle with yourself, and remember that your fears are validated and trust that you have done all you can.
