Today, my husband ran down the stairs with the phone.
It doesnt seem like that big of a deal, right?
If it were any other person, and their husband was running the phone down to them, they wouldn't think much of it. Hes just bringing down my phone to me, because I have a phone call.
Not me. When I heard the phone ring, and my husband run, my first thoughts went to catastrophic places. Which child !? Which family member?! Who died!?
I nearly fell to my knees and the breath was just taken, from my chest.
All because a phone rang.
PTSD, and other panic causing mental illness is a certain after losing your child. Anything that brings back any memories of that time, when seemingly out of place, will create the panic you felt that day. For me, it was a phone call. It could be any matter of things for someone else.
Knowing what may be coming, or what can take place before it's you, is a great way to strategize how you are going to handle when those things happen. Coping skills, and talking to loved ones about triggers are all great ways to combat this fear.
All I could really think of was to say, "stop running." I said it with the only breath i had in my lungs. "Please, just don't run."
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